So this is the new year..

I was beginning to convince myself never to set foot in this dreadful place again, but the creator in me wouldn't allow it. These memoirs are filled with past failings and the blunders of an ill-controlled pen, and there's something about the promise of a new year that brings a desire for a clean slate, as it were. Ironically, the motivation that drives me to fill this page is the simple push to get one more blog in before the complete end of the year. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Christmas is all but a distant memory, but it would be inconsiderate of me not to fill you in on the details. Although the sentiments of remembering the birth of a Savior paint beautiful pictures, I'm afraid there are far too many of us who view Christmas as a short diversion before denial sets in because you have to face life, one more year, once again. Although I participated in more Christmas oriented activities than usual, something still felt quite lacking in the way of holiday spirit. I decorated cookies, went Christmas caroling, bought a few gifts, and went through any other usual motions. Despite all of the commercialism, I think there's at least a glimmer of hope to be found in the usually empty secular rendition of Christmas: The concept of families putting aside their differences to all come together for a simple holiday. Our family doesn't have such monumental differences, but the fact that my older sister wasn't with us for Christmas for the first time completely changed the dynamic, and made our hearts just a little emptier.

I probably shouldn't waste too much time musing, but after all, this is a return to former glory. Our family does most of the Christmas festivities Christmas Eve, so by the time Christmas actually comes around, usually the only thing we have left to do is eat. And eat we do, for this year we went over to my aunt and uncle's house to partake in a glorious feast prepared by mastermind cooks. I am absolutely positive that my stomach has been subject to entirely too much good food, and therefore, suffering. I guess all good things must come to a [merciful] end, but only to make way for something entirely new.

Which brings me to the place I've often mulled about: The corridor in which one year changes into the next. In most cases, the year will have no need to fit new clothing, but for some, appearances may change entirely. My personal transformation from year to year, like any normal person, has taken place very gradually. I could imagine an entire time line of the elemental gifts discovered in consecutive years that have made me the person I am today, but I dare not digress with monotony. I can only shiver with anticipation to the beholding of new discoveries; a new gift.

My person would be nothing without the shaping experiences pushed forward by the most amazing and influential people that I've ever met. I have no aspirations toward speech-writing, but I can guarantee that without these people, my position would be fetal and my outlook, pathetic. Quite a few of them will never read this, but for those that do, I can't thank you enough.

There's a certain song* that brings about this thoughtful sentiment:

So this is the new year
and I have no resolutions
for self assigned penance
for problems with easy solutions

It's a sentiment that I tend to agree with, because most oftentimes, the easy solution to any problem is you yourself. But despite the worthlessness of most New Year's resolutions, I have set forth a few hopefully modest expectations, even though I fear that this coming year will be too erratic to even consider setting expectations. Nevertheless, I can't give up on anything resembling guidelines, so here is my attempt.

First and foremost, I would like to regain a focus on God in my life. It's often said that the first love is lost, and must be regained again, however, He's still very much a part of my life. I've just relegated Him to a place much too low. I have a few ideas on how I'm going to accomplish this in a practical way, but I would rather not set myself up for failure. I also get the feeling that the time I spend on the computer, and listening to music, and watching movies, is hampering my productivity. So in addition to a renewed focus, I'm also craving a fresh vision for new and simmering ideas. I'm feeling a novel on the horizon, if my senses aren't too out of whack.

Ah, but one visor remains. ** As per the usual, I would also like to get in physical shape. But lets not get ahead of ourselves here, shall we?

So, I've already set up a few goals for myself, which hopefully won't lead me towards entrapment, but there are also a few factors that are out of my control that have led me to much prayer. If every new year brings about some degree of change in a person's life, then this year must really have its sights on devouring me whole with possibilities.

I had plans to write quite a bit more, but I think I can leave it at that. Happy New Year to all fellow bloggers, and stay off the vodka.

P.S. A simple warning, I have doubts on whether or not I'll post here, ever again. We shall see what my outlook and schedule holds for me in the next couple of months, but I would hate to commit to anything.

* = Death Cab For Cutie, The New Year
** = Much Ado About Nothing, William Shakespeare. Learn it, love it, live it.