YO, BEN I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU AND IMMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT BENJAMMIN FUNKYFRESH HAD ONE OF THE BEST BLOGS OF ALL TIME

After three platinum records, a Grammy nomination for best recorded hip hop song ("Touch It (Bey Bey) feat. Touldja Boy Sellout") and his own top selling clothing line (Napes), Benjammin' Funkyfresh decided to do the one thing that would set him as unprecedented among most other rappers (and being white too? Oh my!) : He would star in his own movie. Being his own movie, it was only fitting for him to write the title track, an autobiographical ditty:

Look, if you have, one shock, one big epiphany
That believes you could be anything you ever wanted
With extra pepperoni, would you bask in it? Or just mull and sit?

..

No, he decided to scratch that. What he did decide on is work on recording a new single, because the album is 'so last year.'

Listen up, because I'm about to have some fun
You'll find out the mouth that has the dopest tongue
It's the same one, that's spitting over the track
All the enemy MC's find a target on their back
Don't react, it's true I'm the whitest that you've seen
Shake it up, it's the stuff from a bottle of whipped cream
But the dream, is still the beat pounding in your ear drums
And the lyrical miracles that dub me as fearsome
You hear son? I'm not the one that grew up on the backstreets
But if you check it I wreck up more truth than a fact sheet
A black sheep? Probably not in the slightest
But the echoes of my word throws may be giving you nightmares
You might scare, a toddler with an active imagination
But think fast, you been outclassed by a high school education
The abrasions, are leaving you dumbstruck and speechless
But look, it's the hook that will even stump your teachers

*amazing chorus*

As you can see, it's still a work in progress.

Here are some words from the hip hop prodigy himself:

YO CHECK IT ITS THE NEW SINGLE I HOPE YOU LIKE IT BECAUSE THE PROCEEDS ARE FUNDING MY SECOND HUMMER AND A NEW BEACH HOUSE BTW DID YOU GUYS CATCH THE AWARDS CEREMONY LAST NIGHT??!! SHAKIRA SHOULD HAVE SO WON MY DAWGS!! I WONDER WHAT THATS ALL ABOUT WELL I HAVE TO GO GOOD LUCK READING THIS HOPELESS PROSE BECAUSE I'M A RAP STAR AND CAN'T TYPE FOR CRAP THANK YOU VERY MUCH

- Benjammin' Funkyfresh